feminism & my own definition of perfect.

"Feminism wasn’t supposed to make us miserable. It was supposed to make us free; to give women the power to shape their fortunes and work for a more just world. Today, women have choices that their grandmothers could not have imagined. The challenge lies in recognizing that having choices carries the responsibility to make them wisely, striving not for perfection or the ephemeral all, but for lives and loves that matter."

- Debora Spar


Sometimes I feel like a bad feminist for enjoying my role as a mum because career prospects excite me far less. Some days I am wracked with guilt that maybe I won't live to my full potential if I don't achieve some kind of successful career. Yet on the other hand, if I dove back into work I would feel guilty about my role as a mother all the same.

Nature choose the biological greatness of women to make and feed babies, and now we have to figure out a way of integrating that with our careers and world adventures. Is it society that insists we do it all, or do we victimise ourselves?

Maybe part of the problem lies in the definition of perfection. I hate when I go for local buggy walks, and I feel embarrassed that I don't have a Phil &Ted or Maclaren push chair. But then I remind myself that Marley wouldn't know any different, and anyway, why am I letting a push chair brand belittle my skills for being a mother??

By striving for the 'ephemeral all', we are cutting ourselves short on what we already have. Why can't perfection be defined by the amount of coos, giggles and smiles your baby makes? Why can't we feel okay for the decisions we make - whether that be returning to work, not returning to work, or even for choosing not to have children at all?


           Source: Uploaded by user via Carolyn on Pinterest


We may not need to fight for our rights anymore, but we are still fighting for the rights to our dreams, whatever they may be. Women didn't spend the 20th century striving for equality only to find the end result didn't make us any happier. I don't want to let those efforts be in vain, and so I'm accepting my life for everything that it is, and everything that it is not. So long as I have a life and love that matters, this constant will always be my definition of perfect.

 

14 comments:

Kristin O'Leary said...

That was beatifully said.

drinkcitra said...

Your last sentence=truth <3

Lydia said...

Motherhood is something feminism tends to discourage sometimes, but the point of feminism is that as a woman in this generation, we can do whatever we want! If we want a career, we can have it. If we want to stay at home with our babies, it's OUR choice, not society's. I think being a mother is one of the most important and hardest jobs a woman can have. :)

http://eternal-simplicity.blogspot.com

Chickadette said...

I love this! I get it and feel the same way. I do my best and love with all my might and let myself just 'be'. There's a mantra I practice... "May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be at peace."


I'm so glad I ran across your link up today... you bloggy ladies are awesome!

Katie said...

I love your graphics! I'm excited to see your work. Found you through blog hop. Have a wonderful day!


Katie Pea
http://craftycrazylife.blogspot.com

sweetpeasylvie said...

Lydia you always leave such lovely comments thank you! xxx

sweetpeasylvie said...

Aw thanks Kristin :)

sweetpeasylvie said...

Thanks darl you're too kind! What is your website so I can visit? x

sweetpeasylvie said...

<3

Rrecommends said...

This post is brilliant. I'm literally going to print that poster off and put it on my wall. As a masters student, I've invested a lot in my education and I'm constantly putting pressure on myself to work hard and get a good job...but as a woman I'm always at odds with myself because at some point I do want to settle down and have a family. I dream of having a few kids, a nice home and a good marriage, and I don't want to be a full time working mother whilst my kids are young; I'm hoping that I'll be financially stable enough to be able to sit back and enjoy the good stuff. My heart tells me that family makes me happy, but my head tells me that if I'd be letting myself down somehow if I chose to leave work-it feels like I just can't win!


Thanks for sharing these words, such an inspiration xxx

Randi Riggs said...

Stumbled across your blog today and I'm glad I did. What a great post. We are all so often striving for perfection when, in reality, perfection is exactly where we are.

sweetpeasylvie said...

Thanks Katie I'll swing by soon!

Chickadette said...

www.chickadette.com :)

Molly said...

I am much the same. I'm also a Master's student but I plan to be a stay at home mum most of my working life, and sometimes I wonder if I am studying for me or just because there is so much pressure to do it all! Great post Sylvie.