the good mother.
Today a nurse was visiting to do Marley's 10-week check up (who by the way is getting really big!!), and she said on her way out "you're doing a really good job, you're a good mother". Whoa that threw me back! It was the nicest and best thing I've heard in a while, and probably something I really needed to hear.
My days at home with Marley are fairly blurry. It's the same thing each day - feed, nappy, sleep, cry, feed, nappy, cry, blah blah. I have no employer to tell me how I'm doing. No KPI criteria to assess where I'm at.
As mothers our successes aren't exactly tangible or measurable. If you've made it through the day without losing it then that's a win. If in 18 years time your child isn't in jail or on drugs, then you've probably done alright. But other than that, those key performance indicators which give us drive, motivation and confidence, are kind of non-existent.
Like most women, I want to be the best mother I can be, but I'm so lost in the day-to-day blur that I forget where I'm at with my 'job'. My little man can't exactly report back on my work and let me know if I'm on the right track. But that's okay, I have come to accept that this is a selfless job. I have to be patient and wait for the day I'll finally hear those four words "I love you Mum". Every now and again though, it is SO gratifying and humbling to receive a compliment about how I'm doing.
If you know a new mother (or a veteran mother, or any kind of mother), how about you let her know how well she's doing. It really is the hardest and most stressful experience we can have as women, and sometimes we just need a little reminding.
You'll probably make her day, and most likely her week.